wish fulfillment much?

Last night I had a dream that I went shopping and bought a wedding outfit --- and cycling shoes. From the same store!

Shaadi ka date tay huaa

F's mom talked to her astrology guy and found us a good date, so the wedding is officially going to be the weekend of July 24th next year. We also went back and forth a lot and decided to have it in the Chicago area. Sure, I'm not in Chicago, but I explained to F's mom how important it is to me to get to plan this, and I think she got it. We worked out some ideas about how to go about things logistically (for instance, they'll get a whole lot of pandits, and we'll phone interview them) that make me pretty comfortable with the plan. Having his family nearby does make some things easier, too: I'd been looking at getting wholesale flowers (like from fiftyflowers.com or something) and arranging them ourselves, and if there are a lot of family people around that will be a lot easier.

I just ordered some sample invitations from Saima Says Design. F. and I looked at some last night, but he doesn't know I have ordered samples. It'll be a nice surprise for him when they arrive. It makes the whole thing seem like it's finally getting started!

F. and I also agreed on what colors to use for decorating (red and orange). I found a photo of a mandap that I really like, too. It's so graceful. Imagine this kind of frame with orange, red, and white flowers & fabric.

photo mentality

I've got a problem with the institution of wedding photography. I certainly don't object to having photos taken -- one might want to have something to look at and remember one's wedding, sure. People who weren't there might want something to feel like they were involved. Parents might want a little keepsake. Great! But more and more, I feel like people focus more on the photos than on the wedding itself.

Examples (real life people's internet stories, edited and paraphrased and all that):

• A bride's mom pays to have bridesmaids' tattoos airbrushed out of the photos.

• Brides with non-traditional hair colors get comments that it will "ruin the pictures."

• A woman wants her bridesmaids to wear a temporary tattoo, but worries that it's overbearing to request that they change how they look (what if people think it's a real one?). Commenter suggests "have a picture taken of them all putting the tattoos on to show they just did it to support your wedding" -- what, is it not official if it's not in a photo?

• Bridal makeup is always heavier than day-to-day makeup, because it has to show up well in pictures. Even if it makes the poor girl look really weird to the people who are actually attending the wedding.

It's not photography that makes you married, people! Maybe it's the magazine-ization of weddings that leads to this kind of attitude. These days, weddings are something that people consume as photos in magazines far more often than they get married themselves or even attend the weddings of others. What they see is the pictures. In that sense, is a wedding really an event and a party where two people celebrate their commitment with the people they care about? Or is it one really long and extra-fun photo shoot?

everyone else is doing it

Apparently when ladies on the internet are planning their weddings, they make things called "inspiration boards" to show the concept of what they want stuff to look like -- I've seen general, whole-wedding ones as well as very specific just-centerpieces ones. I've found a few possible venues in the Boston area, but basically can't accomplish much else on that front until we get there. All I have left to do is look at pretty stuff, so: behold! Styles and ideas for my wedding outfit. (I haven't decided about all red vs. red-and-white, but I have decided I like contrast-color borders and zari/zardosi work, and I hate overuse of sequins.)

Also: I used to like the sparse, Arabic-style mehndi more but now that I've had it a couple of times I think I prefer the dense Indian style. I don't think I will need to buy jewelry (I believe I can borrow F's mom's), but out of what's available to me I am going to go for gorgeous-but-simple (the ceremony will be in the daytime in the summer, I don't want to be armor-plated). I am not sure if I'll wear the dupatta on my head or not -- if I do, that will obviously change my hair options. But I love the 'do in the upper right. If you zoom in you can see her little braids. So awesome!

Location, location, location

We're planning on having the wedding about a year and a half from now, and we had been planning on having it in Chicago. It's where F lives now, it's the nearest big city to where I live, it's got a substantial number of F's family members and our friends... but. F's parents just moved to Alabama, my parents live in Michigan, and F and I ourselves are going to move to either Colorado or Massachusetts in six months. Why is the wedding in Chicago, again? I'm considering options.

photos!

Emily put up a sampling and slide show of our engagement photos. She really made us look awesome! I can't wait to get married so we can look awesome some more. Among other reasons.

mission accomplished

The engagement ceremony that F's family threw for us went really well. My dad cracked jokes during the pooja and flinched when the priest threw rice at him. My mom learned which finger to do tika with and our legs fell asleep from sitting on the floor sideways. F's parents marched me and F around and introduced us to all the old friends they'd invited and we got a ton of hugs. Everyone danced -- my dad, with his bad hip, even did the "lightbulb" for a little bit. The DJ announced that it was the last song, then played three more. Our photographer made us look awesome (pictures soon). My youngest cousin made up a song about F's name.

Afterward, F and I went to the hotel my family was staying at to spend more time with them. I changed into a t-shirt but the only comfortable pants I had were poofy salwar pants. Everyone was kind of jealous of my pants, actually, because they were super comfortable. We ate lots of pizza and all our friends tried on our sparkly engagement clothes.

Now we can actually plan the wedding! I might have found the perfect place, and it seems like F's parents might go for it even though it's a little smaller than we initially thought the wedding would be. I think this place's capacity is the perfect size - more than that and we wouldn't be able to afford some of the cool stuff we'd like to do, less than that and F's parents would be sad about all the people they couldn't invite.

check this out

I am so excited to get to wear mine!

no pictures

F's ring was finished this weekend, so we went to see it. We also checked out the stones for my ring, which had finally arrived. It's going to be close whether they'll finish mine in time for the engagement, but I really hope they will. F was sweet about it and didn't want to take his ring home until mine was done too. Aww. But that means I don't have a picture of how awesome it looks.

Another thing I have not seen yet is the outfit I'm wearing at the engagement. I described something I would like, and we had an aunt in India go buy it for us. It's a great plan, but I am so impatient to see how it turned out! It apparently arrived at F's parents' house a while ago, but I haven't been to visit them in a couple of weeks so I still haven't seen it. Excitement!

There are some ridiculously awesome clothes on bargello.com. If I had more money I'd be buying them all up. Soon, I will be the stylish aunt! Muhuhahahahaha! I don't just need Indian party clothes either. I need things to wear in general. I used to have so many pretty shirts -- how has it come to this?

There's a place that might be exactly what I want for the wedding. The problem is, it doesn't hold as many people as F's mom wants it to. (It holds as many as I think it needs to, but not if F actually has 300 Very Close Family Members Who Absolutely Must Be Invited.) F and I are still going to check it out this weekend, and if it is really cool we'll have to do some guest list negotiating.

bangle update

Good news: I bought some bangles online and it turns out that size 2.10 (usually called L or XL) fits me. Bad news: the bangles I bought were glass and, while they are pretty, a third of them are broken already. I should have known.